Rawr.

Dear Right Earlobe,
I get it. There's an unnatural hole in you, so you're doing your job by trying to repair it. But seriously, is there a reason you waited almost 18 years to mount this continuing attack? I'd really like to stop wincing every time I stick an earring in, thanks. Between you and me, it's ridiculous that you're fighting now. Mr. Left Earlobe is totally fine with the hole. Stop it. Now. I refuse to let you heal up because I know that I wouldn't get you pierced again (thanks mom for doing it when I wouldn't remember. I appreciate that!).

Please stop?

Thanks,
The Girl You're Attached To.